Hearing is one of the most important senses that we have.  Someone once asked Helen Keller:

“If you had a choice between having your hearing back, and having your eyesight back, which would you choose”?  Helen Keller didn’t even hesitate.  She said she’d take her hearing.

Our sense of hearing greatly affects our quality of life.  It is part of sharing with the people we love, and a big part of successful relationships.

I remember my father coming home very discouraged from work one day. This occurred forty years ago, and was a defining moment in choosing my career. My dad was upset. He had made several mistakes at work that day that he felt made him look stupid (he was actually quite intelligent). The mistakes he made were because of his hearing loss.

My father’s supervisor had asked him to perform a project in a certain way, and my dad misunderstood him. It wasn’t the first time. My Dad was embarrassed to ask his boss to repeat himself, and would assume he meant the obvious course of action. He often found himself in that conundrum.

Maybe you’ve experienced a similar situation yourself. Have you ever missed the punch line of a joke? Did you pretend you “got” it, and laugh anyway, or did you ask the person to repeat it, and hope you wouldn’t frustrate them? Frustration is a real and frequent reaction from the person who is misunderstood.

I would like to make some up front suggestions. Allow me to be real with you. You have nothing to lose, and much to gain.

• Stop pretending that you hear things that you miss, and be frank about telling people how they can help you hear better. For example, say “I’m sorry, but I have a problem understanding you in a noisy place like this. Can you repeat yourself?” Or, “…can we move to the next room”?
• Other people are not aware of your problem hearing them unless told.  Get out of denial and do everything you can to improve your odds of doing better.
• Do you know exactly what your hearing loss is? Do you have a greater problem with vowels, or with consonants? If you haven’t had a hearing evaluation recently, get one, and ask for a copy of it.

Are you still with me? I don’t want to be offensive to anyone, but I do want to help.  There are many ways to improve your communications, and we’ll be addressing many of them. If you have subjects you would like to see covered, please email: suggestions@hearinghaven.com, and I will add it to the list of concerns to address.

O.K., let’s go over the following additional ideas.

• Sit in a place in the room that has good lighting. It will help you to see the face of the person speaking to you, especially in noise.
• Ask people to get your attention before they start talking to you. For example, they might tap on your shoulder or make sure they’re in front of you so that you notice them.
• Carry a notepad and pen with you, and ask people to write down names, addresses, or financial amounts down for you “so I’m sure I have that correctly.”
• Repeat what you think you heard. “So you want me to bring the dessert on Saturday evening?”
• Don’t even try to have a conversation with someone in another room. Get closer and make sure you both have eye contact.
• If someone shouts because you don’t understand them, calmly tell them that you would understand them better in a loud but normal voice. Shouting distorts speech and makes it more difficult to understand!  Do the same (don’t shout) when someone asks you to repeat.
• When talking with someone else with a hearing loss, use more words and give them a summary of what you are about to tell them. For example, “Let me tell you about what happened to Aunt June at the grocery store last night.”

Thanks for taking the time to let me share with you. At the time of this writing, I’m sitting in my office, on the tenth floor with a view of downtown Dallas, Texas. The skyline has disappeared, due to a smoke blowing in from grass fires in West Texas. I can still see across the street, but my view of downtown Dallas is gone.

When people who have the most common type of hearing loss are in a noisy place, the “distance” they can hear from becomes obscured, just like my view. In noise, remember:

• In a noisy place, the closer you can get to what you want to hear, the better. If possible, sit in a booth, not at a table. If you have a choice, sit with your back to the wall, so there is no noise coming from behind you.

Thanks again for joining me. May the rest of your day be pleasant and positive!

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